Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Try it Tuesday: Cauliflower Pizza

With it being Lent and all, we try to be meat-free on Fridays. Making fish or ordering a pizza from the same place every week gets old, and in an attempt for something a bit healthier I decided to try a recipe that I'd made once three or four years ago (pre-kid) for cauliflower pizza dough. 

It probably sounds gross, but it's really good! No, it doesn't have the same consistency as regular pizza (hard to eat it with your hands - use a fork!) but you'd never know it was made from veggies. 


1 cup cooked, riced cauliflower
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
1 egg, beaten
1 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp crushed garlic
1/2 tsp garlic salt
olive oil (optional)
pizza sauce, shredded cheese and your choice of toppings


I'm going to summarize here (you can find the full recipe at Eat. Drink.Smile). 

Basically, you just put the cauliflower into a food processor - Magic Bullet shout out! - and "rice" it until you get about a cup full. After that, plop that cauliflower in the microwave for 8 minutes. 

While it's cooking, throw some shredded cheese, the egg, and oregano, garlic, and salt in a bowl and stir it up. Mix the cooked cauliflower into the cheese/egg mixture, and then spread it out on a baking sheet, shaping until it forms a circular dough. 

Brush the dough with some olive oil if you want to help it brown (I did) and then pop that baby in the oven for 15 minutes at 450. Once it's done, spread pizza sauce on top (I used the jarred stuff) and shredded cheese. The original recipe says to put it under the broiler but I just put the pizza back in the 450 degree oven for another few minutes. Voila!

Attempt #1

So, I set out to make this one Friday night two or three weeks ago, and a few things combined to make it a disaster. 

Mistake one: Never underestimate how long it's going to take you to make a recipe. Yes, I'd made this before, but it was so long ago I hadn't remembered how long the prep took. It really shouldn't take *that* long to make, but give yourself some leeway the first time with any recipe. Which brings me to ...

Mistake two: Don't use frozen cauliflower. I didn't start making the pizza until almost 7:00, and then realized that I only had frozen cauliflower, which meant cooking it in the microwave for a little bit in order to thaw it out to rice it. Then it took FOREVER to rice enough in the Magic Bullet because it was so hard. By the time everything was in the oven, it was after 8 p.m. and we were starving.

Mistake three: NEVER USE WAX PAPER. I'm sure some of you are laughing at me right now, but in my hurry to get this ready, I grabbed a roll of wax paper thinking it was parchment paper. This was mostly out of laziness, since I didn't want the pizza to get stuck to the cookie sheet and then have to clean off clumps off burnt crust. Well, you can imagine what happened. The pizza (which tasted great, btw ... at least the tiny bits we were able to rip off) got pretty much glued to the wax paper. Since the wax paper was melted to the crust, we couldn't even peel it apart. So after an hour of work, and all of the wasted ingredients and money, this F'er went in the trash and we had to eat Trader Joe's bagel bites and ice cream for dinner at 8:30 p.m. 

Looks appetizing, right?

Attempt #2

The following Friday I was determined to make the pizza recipe again. This time, I started early! I also sprayed the baking sheet down with Pam's new coconut oil spray (recommend) and then made the rest of the recipe as before. Again, I'd forgotten to buy fresh cauliflower so I had to make do with the frozen. But since I knew what to expect, it went faster this time. The only setback was the dough was a little bit soggier - probably because I added a little bit of water in the Magic Bullet to try and get things moving around a little easier than the first time. 

This time, we could actually eat the F'in pizza. And it was good! Success!!! 

On a scale of 1-10:

Will my kid trash my house in the amount of time it takes to make this recipe? 6
He was sleeping the first time, and the second time my husband was home, so I can't fully rate this one. However, it takes some time, and ricing the cauliflower means using a food processor for a while, and who knows what they can get up to while that thing is buzzing away! 

Will I need a bottle of wine and/or shots to get through this recipe? 4
If you F it up like I did, then yes. However, it's not really that bad otherwise. 

Will my sink be overflowing with dirty dishes? 4
Not really. I used a bowl to cook the cauliflower, another bowl for the egg/cheese mixture, and the Magic Bullet, then a few spoons and whatnot. 

Is this edible? 9
If a toddler likes it, that's the ultimate approval! 

F-YEAH or F-IT? 
F-YEAH. Just don't be an idiot and use wax paper! 


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