Wednesday, May 20, 2015

The Most Dramatic Season Premiere of The Bachelorette EVER (no, really)

So this is a bit delayed considering I thought it was on at 9:00 last night, and it turned out it was on at 8 (which I found out from our friend Amy while I was in the dressing room at Target ... at 8:20. I almost cried. Not even joking). Now that we're both all caught up, let the games begin!

First off, we'd like to say the preview of the season at the end of last night's episode was pretty much the best and "MOST DRAMATIC" (drink!) preview ever. We're super psyched for the rest of this season to get underway. Can you say Nick??? And a sex scandal! Oh. My. F'ing. God.

We were also both Team Kaitlyn, so we're thrilled to see her as The Bachelorette over Britt. So here we go, our F Yeah's and What the F's for this week's two-part premiere:

What the F's:

The dresses! This is only a semi what the F, because while we actually both liked their gowns, Britt was ready to walk down the aisle, and Kaitlyn looked like a disco ball. Her dress was so sparkly it was actually distracting (but still super pretty. Love ya, Kaitlyn!)

Jared! In his intro scene he was staring at the ocean talking about love, boring boring boring... and then he rips open his button-up to reveal a heart t-shirt and says he’s going to be LOVE MAN to rescue the bachelorette. What. The. F.

Tony the "healer!" We don't even know where to start on this one. Let's just leave it with "he talks to plants." 

Amateur Sex Coach! Enough said. 

The stripper! If you lived in the Philly area in the late 90s/early 2000s you might have been to a place called The Cave for someone's 21st birthday/bachelorette/divorce party. Yeah, this is guy is totally like a Cave dancer. Well, law school IS expensive...

Drunken ass grabbing! Not cool, Ryan. "Clearly he's not here for the right reasons," as the wise Chris Harrison said. CLEARLY. 

F Yeah's:

The accessories! Statement ring central. Loving it. And the earrings were sweet, too.

Side eye! Kaitlyn, your side eye game is strong! Don't blame her, considering it was a totally awkward situation.

Welded rose! The welder was so cute and we loved the rose he made. Hey, it's way better than getting one of those gold-dipped ones from Stephen Singer. He seemed a lot like Chris aka Prince Farming in terms of the "middle of nowhere town" aspect and good old farm values. We'll give him a pass even though he made a "sparks are gonna fly" comment. 

Brady! Leaving to go find Britt was cool. He could have stayed like the other guys who voted for Britt, but he was the only one with the balls to do something about it. You go, Brady!

RYAN GOSLING! Oh wait, we mean Shawn, who got the first impression rose and also had an epic makeout session. We're sorry, but he's Ryan Gosling's twin. And he gave Kaitlyn a picture his nephew drew. So F'ing cute!

Joe from Kentucky!  He brought some moonshine in a bottle with XXX written on it. Having been to a moonshine distillery, I can assure you that stuff is no joke. But he was pretty cute about it and I think it made him stand out. 

Chris Harrison riding a triceratops! Can we get a copy of this print? PLEASE?

Who's your favorite Bachelor so far? We'll be back next week for more F'ing excitement. Can't wait! 


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